Summertime and the Living is Sleazy

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Girls are sizzling and the spirits are high; your boobs are swell and your bottom’s good looking; so hush pretty baby; don’t you clothe… We do hope DuBose Heyward and Ira Gershwin won’t mind our variation on their well-known aria Summertime (1934), and especially Ella Fitzgerald who sang it (1968) as only she knew how, but not only is it for a good cause but also reflects well the zeitgeist of the season –not exactly a lullaby style. In fact, we expect all three of them to make common cause with us, wherever they are. You see, this is the time of year when millions of people all over the world gain deservedly their seat in Hell, yes –Hell, since summer, more than any other time or season, is in itself an invitation to corruption, waste of time and money, wrongdoing and vice disguised as a much needed rest.

(21-22) Truly Hell is a place of ambush, for the transgressors a place of destination.

Qur-an 78 – an Naba

The story goes that everything good, magical and worth living happens between the months of June and August. According to the current mass education in summer the song sings itself. In other words –a little bit of summer is what the whole year is all about. Indeed, yes.

Basically, summertime is about the beach, and it includes and encompasses the people, fashion and life style surrounding the activity of getting a proper suntan.

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It´s a religion in its own right. However, if a god, or God, any god, asked a congregation, any congregation, to go through the rites one has to go through before one is ready for the beach, the congregation would declare such a god to be a cruel and whimsical being, unworthy of further notice. When it comes to god summer, however, submission is total and absolute. It´s evident that the whole year is about getting ready for the summer, as each week is about getting ready for the weekend; even if one’s summer is 15 days long and one’s weekend inevitably brings about Monday –not everyone is an Eastern potentate or a Hollywood tycoon.

First of all, money must be saved, a little something put away every month –summer fun is not cheap at all– so that for a few summer days, a couple of weeks at the longest, one can secure the sensation of being an A-lister, or nearly so. But above all, it’s about sweating and working out all year round to get into shape and stay there: to boast legs, abs, bottoms and biceps like those of one’s real life gods, or rather idols. No slave has ever worked so much. That’s the hard part but it gets done, no duty is too heavy for a body worshipper –the mission must be completed at all costs, and if it fails, as it occasionally does, one falls back on the scalpel and applies for a boob job or liposuction, and usually both.

Now, at long last, one has that enviable, phenomenal physique worthy of being completely exposed and revealed; one can send pulses racing; flaunt one’s cleavage; show off the results of one’s surgeon’s skills; flash knockout curves or muscles.

All along one has been examining, studying and reflecting upon pertinent instructions:

  • What You Should Do Now to Get Ready for Summer
  • 3 Ways to Prepare for Summer
  • 14 Easy Ways to Get Ready for Beach Season
  • 20 Beauty Tips to Get Ready for Summer
  • Get Ready for Summer with These Tips for Body and Mind

Then, the shopping! One needs to be not only in shape but also in fashion. In order for this objective to be fulfilled one’s got those little pieces of plastic, going into and out of slots, providing banknotes, pure magic. Finally, one is THERE, at the very altar, which in this case is a sandy dune. Since one´s got nothing to do and a whole day to do it in one has the option of partaking in the aquatic activities of the beach tribe (not everything is about lying on a towel), and get one’s thrill from being active –for a change. At night, logically, one enjoys the nightlife and, possibly, the flings –easily obtainable at any beach.

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Thus it’s all about letting one’s hair down, and being half-nude is part of it. Many, however, refuse to do things by halves. Initially, they were requested to practise their belief in nudity at beaches designated specifically for them and clearly marked as such. These days they insist on freedom of choice and thus this kind of segregation is slowly fading away but, interestingly enough, it’s not a two-way street. Nudists cross over to standard beaches; while people wearing some sort of swimwear do not frequent nudists’ places, a phenomenon not yet completely examined by science.

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As you can see the couple in the photo above hold their heads high but, curiously, covered. Most likely both have no head for heat. On the whole, the general public, strongly associating going naked with freedom, are adamant that they should be granted their public nudity rights.

As Germans have been making a bee line for lakes and pools to seek respite from the sweltering heat wave gripping Europe, a group of Munich’s topless women sunbathing on the banks of Isar River over the weekend were accosted by security guards, Süddeutsche Zeitung reports. The affronted women were ordered to cover up their breasts, while other sunbathers were outraged at the clampdown and discarded their bikini tops, baring their breasts in solidarity. Whether it was the divisive matter of nudity itself, or the soaring temperatures adding to the torment, passions flared to such a degree that the issue is now being debated by political parties.

Backlash as Topless Sunbathers in Munich Ordered to Cover Up Amid Scorching Heat, Sputnik

It should be added here that Munich boasts of six places where people can sunbathe topless or in the nude.

Thus, the Green Party took the issue to the Munich’s city council, where Dominik Krause asked why men can lie in the sun topless but not women. For a while we were thinking of answering this existential question but decided against such action as Dominik seems to be still too green to tell the difference between one set of breasts and the other. Anyway, these are byzantine discussions as these days there is no difference between going naked, let alone topless, and wearing the so called swimwear. For all practical purposes it boils down to walking around in the nude.

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In reality it’s not about scorching heat. Actually, in extremely hot weather one should cover up one’s whole body with ample clothes, the sort worn by desert dwellers. In the case of the confused western man it’s all about suntan. One must be evenly tanned all over. It’s a commandment, a rule, an imperative emitted by god culture, and nobody dares object. On the contrary. However, there are consequences to all our actions and most of them can’t be foreseen. As regards the suntan craze there’s the problem, among many others, of the safety of sunscreen products –obviously a multimillion euro industry. Profound doubts have been expressed about ingredients such as oxybenzone and retinyl palmitate but manufacturers assure all and sundry that they are safe and effective. And yet we have come across Machiavellian statements such as:

Though using sunscreen is a vital sun safety strategyThe Skin Cancer Foundation has always recommended a complete sun protection regimen that includes not only sunscreen use, but also seeking shade, covering up with clothing including a wide-brimmed hat and UV-blocking sunglasses. (Skin Cancer Foundation, Sunscreen Safety: The Reality)

It’s evident that “a complete sun protection regimen” consists of expensive sunscreen products plus staying in the shade and wearing wide-brimmed hats. We could add umbrellas, such as those seen below, and thus eliminate the whole lot of cosmetic drugs indispensable, according to their manufacturers, for enjoying the sun.

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That’s how it all started.

There was a time when the world was young and there are thousands of photos and paintings which reproduce this world –long gone. It was a world which still cherished values and ideals. Women wore hats, gloves and carried umbrellas in order to screen themselves from getting suntan, which was associated with outdoor work. There was dress code, there were rules, there was decency; there was very little culture. So what happened? Why and how has the world gone from zero to 200 km/h in a matter of several seconds (decades in the case of the world are seconds).

(6-8) Man transgresses all bounds in that he looks upon himself as self-sufficient. Verily, to your Lord is the return of all.

Qur-an 96 – al Alaq

First and foremost, there has arisen a god called culture, a god which dictates now the rules, the values, the ideals, the dress code and so on and so forth –everything. It says what is right and what is wrong, and what was right today may be entirely wrong tomorrow, and vice verse. Suntan, for example, was once considered a sign of being a member of the outdoor work force. Today it is a sign of free, healthy, outdoor life style. God culture is very much connected and interconnected with god business, and this means that whatever makes money is good, no matter decency and such like. Both are connected to god democracy, which dictates that man as such is in fact his own god and that there are no other gods, nor there should be, and that all people who had ever thought otherwise were foolishly wrong. There’s god medicine –its sermons are always dedicated to the idea of man being immortal, sort of. There’s also god science and god Hollywood. There are several others. Together they first suggest then establish opinions, ideas and thoughts to be followed and drum them mercilessly into people’s heads –the pages we write are devoted to these very issues.

(6-7) O man! What has seduced you from your Lord Most Beneficent? Him Who has created you, fashioned you in due proportion and gave you the right balance.

Qur-an 82 – al Infitar

Obviously, they are all false gods. They won’t be there when you’re dying, or when you’re dead and buried, or left alone somewhere in the form of ashes. All we suggest is that you devote 5 minutes a day of your holiday time to reflection that each of those days can be the last, no matter how fit, young and healthy you seem to be.

(4-5) As to those who do not believe in the Hereafter –We have made their deeds pleasing in their eyes and so they wander blindly. Such are they for whom a grievous chastisement is awaiting. In the Hereafter theirs will be the greatest loss.

Qur-an 27 – an Naml

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